I Am Not the Hornet King

Though I have a lot of respect for the honeybee, I loathe a yellowjacket, hornet, or whatever they are.

As you all know, this summer has been crazy for the yellowjacket. My kids, like many on the hi-line, have been stung by these knuckleheads.

So I got vigilant, setting a trap approved by Montana Fish, Wildlife, and Parks. This trap can be quite dangerous if used the wrong way. For example, do not put it in an area where your children play, do not remove it until it is dark and cold outside, and do not set the trap right outside your home entrance.

Of course, we wanted a show. So we disregarded that last piece of advice in the last paragraph after I built the trap with my sons watching. It was far enough from the front door that we could walk in our front door without incident, but we had to be swift and time it right.

We watched the trap from inside the house and caught a few of the stringing terrors struggling through the mixture of water, sugar, and apple cider vinegar, with a few drops of dawn, but then we got bored.

The next day…. We checked the traps to see that over a dozen per trap were caught. Later that afternoon I went home for lunch and to my great surprise about 50 or more yellowjackets swarmed the traps. It was nuts.

We used the garage door the next week or so. The grass was abused for a couple of weeks, because I didn’t want to go anywhere near the traps, even on accident.

I believe that the Hillcrest neighborhood is a little safer thanks to the Bibbs family. We caught over a thousand, which may not put a dent in their population, but it was nice to cut the grass without being harassed.

I set up to sell coffee at the Farmer’s Market in Glasgow, and for weeks we have been bombarded by yellowjackets. But I learned something from the Dahl family. To use a nearly empty Mountain Dew bottle. They seem to catch yellowjackets by the hundreds each week. I of course have my zapper wand, which takes out 30 or so every Saturday.

You would think that I would be desensitized, but if you see me around hornets with nothing to swat them with, I spazz out a little. No one wants to be stung.

I can also tell you that I was happy to throw away our traps when it got cold enough outside to do so.

I won’t dub myself the “Hornet King”, that title belongs to a YouTube personality that has the courage to take down huge hornet nests. His channel is pretty impressive.

Now ask me about my fly-trapping skills. That was a happy accident. I simply spray the window in my garage and months later 50 flies pile up in my window sill until I get them up with my shop vac. It is as gross as it sounds.