2023 Suicide Awareness Walk Held in Malta

Autumn leaves of gold, crimson and rufous crunched upon the ground as swirls of cinnamon ones gently floated to the ground. It was an absolutely beautiful day for gathering together with friends, family, co-workers and strangers that would become friends as the day progressed.

The event was the 2023 Suicide Awareness Walk. It was held on Sunday,September 10, Suicide Awareness Day, at Malta High School. Those in attendance could participate in any portion of the 5k walk.

With the helping hands of the Phillips County Hospital and Family Health Clinic, the Phillips County Coalition for Healthy Choices, the Eastern Montana Community Mental Health Center and the Local Advisory Council (LAC), the event witnessed 81 individuals as they came down the corridor at the High School and registered to show their support and reinforce the need for awareness.

Bright colored beads were available with each color identifying for a particular connection to suicide. White ones were available representing the loss of a child; red was available for those who experienced the loss of a spouse or partner, while those who had lost a parent were able to take gold.

Orange beads identify one who has lost a sibling; purple is for those who have lost a relative or friend; and silver is offered for first responders or military.

While teal signifies a loved one is struggling with suicide, green is the color indicating a personal struggle. All 81 in attendance could sport blue beads in support of the awareness cause.

The guest speaker this year was Kaylie Gilman, who courageously shared her personal struggles with suicide following the death of her sister, Laynee, last year. Kaylie was the guest speaker last year, also.

"It's been a running joke with myself on how I'm never going to be able to top my speech from last year but if I'm being honest I have no idea how I pulled that off. I tried not to get personal in this speech but finally gave in and decided to speak my experiences.

Kaylie shared the different faces of mental health: depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and suicide; ..."the list goes on."

She continued, "After the death of my sister...I was on autopilot this last year in my life; trying to keep everyone else afloat, making sure everyone was okay before I checked in on myself.

I knew I had little eyes on me constantly and did everything I could not to let her see me hurting. I started ignoring my body and did everything I could do to not let her see me hurting."

Kaylie shared, "I dreaded everything in my day to day which carried into my work days and was noticed by all. I began to feel like I couldn't take care of my patients if I wasn't taking care of myself. I didn't really know what was going on with me but I knew I wasn't that person and no longer wanted to feel that way. So I started going to therapy. Nothing about therapy is easy...it's time consuming and a lot of hard work. I began to feel overwhelmed.

I soon learned that everything I was feeling was nothing short of normal for everything I had gone through. Wait a second, I'm normal!!? Normal. This was a new feeling for me. Normal. But I liked it. It really is okay not to be okay. All I had to do was ask for help and accept the help that was readily available at my fingertips.

With help and support I am able to stand up here today; although anxious and traumatized...a better, strong and growing person. You have to choose to make a difference in your life. Choose to show up for yourself, learn to sit with your feelings, be kind to yourself and others, ride the wave...and breathe."

Kaylie closed her presentation with the words of Martin Luther King, Jr., "If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl. But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward."