Moe & Gertie: Moe gets a reply

Gertie replies to Moe's letter

Dear Moe,

Upon receipt of your letter,I thought it best to inform you immediately of the latest Cornburg happenings. Cousin Obie is on the lam. It happened thisaway:

Sigurd Olson opened his store one morning to find the safe wide-open and the cash all gone. Nothing else in his General Merchandise was missing. He didn't have a clue when he called our erstwhile town cop but Deputy Backwater had a notion-considering that the front door's key was in the lock. So he hied himself over to Sigurd's house where he found Sigurd's son lollaggan around as usual. "Dimwidde", he sez, "I've got you dead to rights. Your fingerprints are all over that safe." Dimwidde drew himself up and yelled, "You can't prove nothin'on me. I wore gloves." That, I heard,according to the grapevine which started with gossipy Gail the telephone operator, who we know listens in to all phone conversations. And I take it as the gospel truth.

But back to Obie, he was gonna pal up with Dimwidde but seeing the cop's car at Sigurd's place he skedadled out of town in a hurry. He's probably bummin around somewhere in the city. You may recall that Dimwidde isn't his real name. His mother gave him the highfalutin name of Archibald but folks hereabouts, as they say: calls it as they sees it.

As for other news, they figured Herman was almost a goner, after his last bilious attack but that snake oil he bought off the peddler seemed to do the trick. I said it'd either kill him or cure him. His wife is sure she has a tapeworm. She read about tapeworms in some pulp magazine she gets and whatever Dr. Do No Good lists, she's got it.

I say that old faker some people are foolish enough to call a doctor here in Cornburg knows how to pluck the golden goose. He musta made a bundle on her regular office visits. And when she insists on the hospital, there she goes.

Well, enough said for now. I say, sarsaparilla is a good idea and stay away from Charlie for awhile.

Your sister,

Gertie.