I've been told nearly all of my life...

I’m befuddled by the legions of folks complaining about their loss of freedoms.

Maybe I’m just naive, but I don’t seem to have lost any.

For a third of the year I wander the landscape unfettered, shotgun or rifle in hand, ready to shoot at stuff. That hasn’t changed since I was a kid although I’ve been told nearly all my life that someone is coming to take my guns.

I do remember when mail-order firearm sales were prohibited, something to do with JFK’s assassination, I seem to recall. But I don’t have any recollection of anyone crying about their loss of freedom to buy a rifle through the mail and shoot the leader of the free world.

I suppose we were all simply subservient sheep back then.

However, while we can no longer order cheap rifles through the mail, thank god we can still order spears. My wife received hers last week, a lethal-looking seven-prong model she “claims” is for fish. It makes me a bit uncomfortable when I wake at night and she’s fondling the spear, a twisted smile on her face, but hey this is a free country.

I’m also apparently still free to travel from coast to coast whenever I wish with few restrictions other than those annoying speed limits. I’m finally at the point in my life when I have a really fast car, and I resent being told to slow down. So what if my vision is failing and my reaction time has slowed. This is still America, isn’t it?

And if I should have an accident and need medical attention there’s certainly no shortage of truckers on the road to provide just that.

During my recent travels I’ve noticed few limits on where folks in this country are allowed to camp, sleep and defecate. It doesn’t seem to matter if it’s Billings, Montana or Palm Springs, California, every bus stop shelter, empty lot, and sunny sidewalk has its share of squatters. Apparently the freedom to inconvenience others remains unsullied.

So too, does the freedom to smoke weed and get high. That’s new, at least doing it legally. Maybe that makes up for the loss of our freedom to buy guns through the mail.

There does seem to be an ongoing effort to take away our freedom to purchase military-style assault rifles, the weapon of choice if you’re planning to kill a bunch of people. Fortunately, the firearms industry and Republicans are looking out for our better interests, even opposing legislation that would prohibit sales of firearms to the mentally ill.

We continue to have the freedom to speak our minds even if what we say or write offends others. I’m aware of that more than most, having been told time and again what I could do with my opinion. I’m sure I’ll hear it again, probably sooner than later. It’s still a free country after all.

Parker Heinlein is at [email protected]