My offenses are well documented

I’m always amazed when celebrities and politicians are forced to step down after a past indiscretion comes to light. Often it’s simply an inappropriate comment caught on tape that spells the end.

Mike Richards, the newly named host of Jeopardy!, comes to mind. Shortly after being named to fill the shoes of the late Alex Trebek, it was discovered that Richards made demeaning comments about women and homeless during a podcast seven years ago.

Fortunately, I’m technically challenged. I don’t even know what a podcast is. Obviously it’s not something that attracts a lot of attention or someone would have called out Richards for his comments at the time.

I prefer the old-school immediacy of the printed word. It doesn’t take seven years for the offended to respond.

When I called the members of a state water quality board “morons” in a column, the reaction was swift. My editor received a call from the governor’s office demanding an apology.

I declined, insisting the board had made some moronic decisions concerning wastewater being dumped into the Gallatin River at Big Sky.

My editor suggested toning down the columns.

“You’ll have a better chance of getting on at another newspaper,” he said cryptically.

Little did he know I had no interest in going anywhere else.

When I wrote in a column that I no longer used kittens for bait the phones began ringing as soon as that edition hit the streets.

Had I admitted the same in a blog, it may have been years before folks got angry.

I’ll admit to being inappropriate on the phone, especially when visiting with my friend E-dub, a retired college journalism instructor, who edits my columns. Those conversations, however, are private, meant only for me, E-dub, and Biden, who we’re sure is listening.

Nearly all of my offenses are captured on newsprint making them hard to deny or forget. I’d be very surprised to have any of my past inappropriate behaviors surface in a different medium. There are no lost tapes.

I am aware of a few old photographs that I either took or appeared in that are unmistakably offensive. But they don’t worry me. Anyone considering me for a political appointment or a game show hosting job would surely disqualify me long before any search for incriminating photos began.

My offenses are well-documented.

By me.

Parker Heinlein is at [email protected]