Front page placement

My picture was on the front page of the local paper last week.

It’s something I try to avoid.

I prefer to fly under the radar.

The mug shot that accompanies my column no longer looks like me and I’m fine with that. I’d rather be incognito than recognized.

I get a sinking feeling in my gut whenever someone asks: ”Hey, aren’t you …?” despite the fact that most of the time folks have something nice to say.

It’s those occasions when they don’t that have me seeking anonymity.

The picture that graced the front page of the Phillips County News was taken by my wife. In it, I’m staring up at the conifer in our front yard after it was struck by lightning.

The editor of the local paper asked if he could run the photo. There’s not a lot of news up here, and the lightning strike was deemed page one worthy.

I was hunting south of town at the time and watched the storm pass to the north. Even though it was miles away, I was a bit uncomfortable, exposed as I was on the open prairie.

But there were scattered sharptails in the short grass and once I got into them I forgot all about the storm.

Until I got home.

Barb had been sitting in the living room when the lightning struck. She said she’d never seen or heard anything like it. I suspected she was exaggerating until I stepped out the front door and saw that the steps were covered in bark, and pieces of tree littered the yard as far as 50 feet away.

I didn’t even know she was taking pictures of me. But just like the paparazzi, she was.

It had been a long time. The last candid photo of me that appeared in print was taken nearly 40 years ago. In that photo, which ran in the New York Times, I’m on horseback leading a pack string up the Pelican Valley in Yellowstone National Park. The cutline identifies me as a naturalist and fishing guide.

This latest photo identifies me as a Malta resident and local columnist, my days as naturalist and fishing guide apparently behind me.

I have a yellowed newspaper clipping from the St. Petersburg Times of my grandfather posing with an exceptionally large cabbage he grew. Grandpa was a modest man and never one to brag, but it was a heck of a cabbage. As far as I know it was the only photo of him to ever appear in a newspaper.

I wish I could say the same.

Parker Heinlein is at [email protected].