Someone's watching?

I like flying under the radar.

Or I did.

It’s hard to do so these days.

My dogs can’t even go unnoticed any longer.

I recently received a message via facebook that my “springer spaniel dog Ruth Heinlein” was celebrating a birthday.

It was from the American Kennel Club, which keeps track of such things. Except Ruth isn’t registered with the AKC. She’s a spayed female and I didn’t see the point.

Jem, my 12-year-old male springer is registered. Years ago I’d planned to breed him with another springer but he had different plans involving a pug/beagle cross down the block.

Following that fiasco I had him castrated and after the surgery he no longer had the hops to clear the 5-foot fence surrounding his yard.

The AKC doesn’t message me when Jem’s birthday rolls around, and he’s on a list. I have no idea how they knew when Ruth was born.

Perhaps Alexa was listening in to our birthday party plans. However, we’d made none, and had actually forgotten Ruth’s birth date. Alexa, I’m sure, was listening anyway.

I’m a registered hunter and fisherman, but that’s about it. I don’t sign petitions and seldom “like” anything on social media. Although a few of my guns are registered, most of them aren’t.

I’m beginning to think it really doesn’t matter. If the powers that be know when my dog was born and I don’t, there’s probably little about me that they don’t know.

For some time now I’ve suspected someone is watching. I’d just hoped they weren’t paying much attention.

I used to hunt along the Canadian border and there were times I’m sure I strayed a bit too far north. The advent of drones put an end to that.

Add facial recognition technology, infrared sensors, and listening devices, and there’s little a guy can get away with these days. Even if it’s all above board.

Registering as this or that doesn’t make much difference. They already know.

I suppose it should come as no surprise that some unknown entity is keeping track of Ruth, of all of us.

In the meantime I’ll go about business as usual, voicing my opinions in this weekly column that features my photograph. Or does it? Is that really me?

More recent photographs show a much handsomer, distinguished looking gentleman that identifies as me. It’s all so confusing. I’m glad someone is keeping track.

Parker Heinlein is at [email protected].