Hide your pens when I'm around

I don’t intend to have sticky fingers…I really don’t.

Yesterday, I visited the lovely ladies at the Phillips County Treasurer’s office to pay my taxes. We chatted for a few seconds and off I went (one of the beautiful things about living in a small community is the lack of standing in lines for such events.) Out of their office, down the elevator, and out into the parking lot I went. I dug into the front pocket of my jacket to fish out my car keys and there, already in my hand, a pen I had inadvertently stolen from their office.

The Pen Thief had struck again.

Dear readers, I have a pen-swiping problem which is so bad that I don’t even realize when I am doing it. It was the second pen I had obtained in 10-minutes…though the first, one of those dandy writing tools Malta First State Bank gives out, wasn’t a theft since I told Cheyenne I would be taking it after she helped me with my banking affairs.

Albertsons, Westside Self Service, City Hall, Phillips County Library; the list goes on and on of places I leave with writing utensils I have accidentally pocketed.

I am sorry.

It’s not like there is a shortage of things to write with at the News office (which doubles as an office supply store with an inventory of thousands of pens and pencils.) And it is not like I go around town stealing other stuff on “accident.” Remember back in the late ’70s when Bill Bixby would get irritated and turn into a green Lou Ferrigno…nothing left but a ripped pair of pants and destruction in his wake? Well, come to find out I am the Incredible Hulk of pen thievery and next week, don’t be surprised to see me at several locations around town, passing out pens to make amends for those I have wronged (sans the bare chest and ripped garments…you’re welcome.)

In the meantime, hide your pens. I can’t be trusted.

Thanks for reading and aloha.