Catch mo' fish than you

There’s a line from Taj Mahal’s song Fishing’ Blues that courses through my head every time Barb and I go fishing.

Bet yo’ life, yo’ sweet wife’s gonna catch mo’ fish than you.

She usually does.

And I’m fine with it.

It’s only when she tilts the scale in her favor that we have an issue. And that only happens, it seems, with exceptional fish.

When Barb and I first got together she told me a story about fishing with her brother on Hebgen Lake when they were kids. Barb hooked a large trout and had it nearly to the boat, when Charley, who was wielding the landing net, knocked it off the hook.

He claimed it was an accident. She says it was intentional. Either way, it remains an issue between them to this day.

So when Barb tried to net the state-record smallmouth bass I had hooked into last summer and instead knocked it free of the lure, I was a bit suspicious. Was this just her way of avenging that perceived slight from years ago?

She of course apologized, and claimed it was an accident.

Fighting back tears, I told her it was no big deal, I’d catch another.

And then last week I did. Or I almost did before Barb knocked it off the hook again.

This time it was a walleye of unusual size -- probably another state record – that I watched sink from sight following a net mishap.

She said she was sorry, and again, fighting back tears, I told her it was no big deal.

“It was just a fish,” I said, my voice breaking.

We fished for an hour more, and Barb caught a couple of walleye that I netted without incident.

Not that I haven’t lost a fish or two at the net. Barb had a large ‘eye up to the boat a few years ago before I knocked it loose, and I did the same with a big fish my friend Chris almost caught that same season.

Since then I refined my netting technique, going so far as to even offer tips to Barb, who so welcomes my advice.

“Netting is like grabbing a snake,” I told her. “You can’t hesitate.”

“I don’t grab snakes,” she said. “Why don’t you just net your own fish?”

I have no doubts we’ll work this out. We actually like to fish together. A long time ago I accepted the fact that my sweet wife was going to catch more fish than me.

Parker Heinlein is at

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