Hey, Haole, you speak da kine or what?

In most instances, language isn’t sport.

Growing up in Hawaii, as a white kid, trying to understand some of my peer’s dialect was more challenging than any sport I have ever participated in…at least for the first couple of years.

A recent article on CNN.com claims “Pidgin English now an Official Language of Hawaii,” but if the “locals” are anything like they were in the 1980’s, they are scoffing at that claim and surely insist that the broken-English vernacular has been, and always will be, the official language of the Islands.

It shouldn’t be too hard for Montanans to understand the 50th state’s Pidgin English as the speech of the Treasure State residents has many instances of words in which outsiders are somewhat confused when they hear for the first couple of times.

The first time I heard someone in Montana say “Bitterroot” and the last four letters came out as “rut,” I was a tad confused. Or how about this one: “We are going down to the crick and try to catch some brookies.” To the outsider, that sentence probably makes little sense (though, after 20 years of living here, I speak “Montana English.”)

But the strange way Montanans twist the English language doesn’t compare to Hawaii’s dialect …not even close (keep in mind, if you are from the Islands, you are a local, if you are not, and you are white, you are a Haole -- pronounced “HOW-lay.”)

Try and decipher this sentence:

Local: “Wow, some Ono! Da kine grinds brok’ da mout’!”

Haole translation: “Golly, that is delicious! This dish taste so good I believe it has changed my taste buds forever.”

You can see how this might take some getting used to. Try this one on for size:

Local: “Darlene wen go foa da beach wid me. Wot? Boddah you? Like beef?”

Haole: “Why yes, in fact, Darlene did accompany me to the beach. Why, does that bother you? Would you like to have a fist fight about the matter?”

If a local approaches you with the above question, chances are he is upset and is most likely going to “brok’ yo’ face” …i.e. punch you in the nose.

Here’s the final example for today:

Local: Howzit, Brah? Eh, who wen cockaroach all da manapua? Ho, Junior, lolo dat buggah.”

Haole: Hello, friend. Hey, who took all of the manapua (sort of like a Hawaiian burrito.) What’s that you say? Junior took the manapua? He is one crazy rascal.”

If you are ever headed to Hawaii for vacation, feel free to stop by and see me. I will have you speaking like a local in no time.

Tanks, Brah, and laterz.

(Thank you for reading, friend, I will see you soon.)