Finding a use for the daily fish wrap

The newspaper industry has been in decline for some time now. Coincidentally, that decline began about the time I got into the business.

Just like fishing, it was another case of you should have been here yesterday.

I remember laughing at the concept of folks sitting on the toilet reading the news on computers. I thought of that this morning while perched on the porcelain throne perusing my smart phone for Donald Trump quotes.

But while I’ve begun to embrace this new technology and waste way too much time staring at my phone and laptop, I still love the feel of a newspaper in my hands.

I like opening the back door every morning and picking up the Great Falls Tribune. It’s there on the steps like magic, left there in the middle of the night by someone I never see.

I read the Chronicle, the Livingston Enterprise, and half a dozen other papers online, but I read the Trib first and foremost. I like the sound the paper makes when I turn the pages.

However, when I’m done reading that morning’s news, there’s still a pile of Tribune on the floor next to my chair, while the online papers have vanished into the Ethernet. And I’m left with the dilemma of the daily newspaper subscriber: what to do with all that newsprint?

I don’t have a bird so I can’t use it to line a cage. The dogs no longer heed the threat of a rolled-up newspaper. I no longer wear newspaper hats, and I don’t use newsprint to clean my windows as often as I should. (The ink keeps the glass from streaking.)

But I do have a garden. There’s a wire bin in the yard filled with old newspapers I plan to mulch, and the walkways between the raised beds are lined with newspapers and then covered with straw to keep weeds at bay.

But there’s only so much garden, and a constant supply of newsprint.

Then I heard about a local angler who uses newspapers to hold onto northern pike while he cleans them.

I’m a fan of pike, love to catch them, love to eat them, but they are a bit on the slimy side. Newspapers, which have always been adept at absorbing slime, make northerns easy to hold while filleting, and also eliminate any mess on the cutting board.

Try doing that with an online newspaper.

Parker Heinlein is at

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