Germaphobe

Apparently the month of January is National Bath Safety Month.

Bath safety encompasses many things including making sure your tub is slip proof, making sure you keep a close eye on your children in the tub to prevent drowning and even making sure the water temperature isn’t too hot.

When I think about bath safety, it takes me back to my disdain for communal showers.

I was the type that always wore flip-flops in the dorms.

I would sanitize everything in the bathroom before I used it.

I don’t carry around a bottle or hand sanitizer, but I probably wash my hands more than any human being should.

When I cook dinner for some reason I wash my hands several times due to my fear of cross contaminating food.

One thing that drives me crazy is when people cough or sneeze without covering they’re mouth.

I’m pretty grossed out if anyone coughs or sneezes in the direction of my plate of food.

Is that normal? Does anyone else fear eating something that has someone else’s snot on it?

One more thing...

People eating with their mouth wide open...

Grosses me out. I just think there are way too many mosquitoes and flies in this world.

Furthermore it looks and sounds disgusting.

Having a bowl of communal dip is a nightmare in my head. I can’t stand it when people dip once, take a bite and then proceed to dip again with the part they bit hitting the dip first.... A.K.A the ‘double dip.”

Why isn’t it common sense that no one wants to eat when your mouth just touched?

I have done my whole life without contracting Mononucleosis.

I could count the amount of times I’ve kissed people other than my wife.

I’ve never understood the thinking of just kissing anyone because you’re infatuated with them.

I’ve never let a dog lick my in my mouth. Animal lovers will say a dog’s tongue is cleaner than ours.

I call bull-crap. Dogs and cats lick their nether regions. If you’re okay with letting a dog slip you the tongue, there has got to be something wrong in your head.

I admit I have changed more diapers than many men will ever see, but even that grosses me out.

Babies have no common courtesy. They don’t know not to sneeze or cough or fart or throw up on you.

Confession: For each of these instances that my son has blessed me with his germs I’ve either wiped the fluids back on his clothes or wash my hands...

Don’t judge me.

I’m sure many of these phobias have kept me from being sick or deathly ill.

In other news....

As a Bears fan I’m stoked the Packers are NOT going to the Superbowl.

Another thing I’m stoked about is the fact that my team picked up John Fox as their head coach heading into the next few years.

I know he was a part of that embarrassing Super Bowl loss last year.

I know he is 0-2 in Super Bowl games, however he has a knack for turning losing franchises around.

As of now the Bears are at the bottom of the NFC North.

We will see where they stand next season... Hopefully headed to the Super Bowl.

God Bless you Coach.

You’re going to need it.