Sure, mosquitoes stink, but they are better than flying foxes

Alright.

I know.

Complaining about the mosquitoes in the column is getting redundant. Nobody likes them, why would they?

So instead of complaining about these little buggers, I’m going to turn the tables and tell you why I like these rascally bloodsuckers. Having them around is better than at least one alternative.

Last night my wife was flipping through her Facebook feed and came to a post about a critter I had never seen or heard of.

Ladies and gentleman – and David Rummell – I present the flying fox. Charity showed me a picture of this winged beast and the image immediately gave me the willies. The flying fox – scientifically known as the Pteropus – is the world’s largest bat. Their wing-span can grow to almost five feet, they can weigh up to four pounds and, as the names suggests, they resemble the fox.

A flipping flying fox.

Far-out.

To give you an idea of just how big one of these mega-bats really are, lay this paper down on the table with the pages open to the middle. You are looking at two broadsheet pages. Now, in your mind’s eye, add another imaginary page on both sides of the PCN pages and viola, flying fox.

Ad some wings, beady little eyes, some fangs and some bristly fur and, friends, you have my worst nightmare.

While I looked at this picture on the wife’s phone, it occurred to me, mosquitoes aren’t so bad. Can you imagine a warm Friday night in September, watching the Mustang’s football team play pigskin, all the while swatting flying foxes with your rolled-up roster? I can, and I don’t like to.

Now don’t get me wrong. These bats don’t attack humans and don’t even eat meat. They mostly live in tropical climates and many species are endangered mostly because they are considered good eating, a delicacy in fact (at least they taste good; a barbecued mosquito burger ain’t so tasty.)

While I admit that it would be fun to go out and watch Parker Heinlein and his dogs Jem and Ace flush some flying foxes from the brush and then blow them out of the sky, I’ll take millions of mosquitoes over millions of flying dogs every day, all day. The next time you swat a skeeter and say “ugh, I hate these things” keep in mind that there are alternatives in the world which would be way more intense.

Thanks for reading and Aloha.