Getting my goat

Football has officially started. Well sort of.

I’m proud to say I shelled out twenty clams, to watch any preseason NFL football game I want. Though I only care about one team. DA BEARS!

It was invigorating being able to watch a game of my choosing live as the Bears took on the Philadelphia Eagles... Yes that team that last year exposed the Bears’ porous run defense that was dilapidated with injuries to nearly every starter late last season.

That Eagles team, coached by former Oregon head coach Chip Kelly, beat up Chicago 54-11 last season.

Though the Bears did win their first preseason game, I’m still concerned.

I’m concerned that at any given game we will start to see our starters drop like flies.

It just goes to show, you always need a plan B.

America is full of secondary plans.

If you get home late from work and don’t have the desire to cook a home-cooked meal... TADA! T.V. dinner.

I hate T.V. dinners. As a matter of a fact I hate microwaves.

I’ve burnt myself on numerous occasions warming hot water.

Microwaves hide the heat and as soon as you reach in to grab your hot water, you proudly set for two minutes for a cup of cocoa, you face second and third degree burns to the hand, because you didn’t think to grab the handle.

Ceramic bowls are five times as bad.

If the game isn’t on television, nowadays, like me, you can watch it on the internet.

I hate watching games on the internet, because the picture at times is inconsistent. Then there’s buffering... Buffering is the devil. You wait. Then see two seconds, and wait some more.

It’s like being stuck behind a slow moving vehicle going south of Malta... The worst day of anyone’s life.

Technology has come a long way, but living in a world where everything is supposed to be ‘right now,” waiting two minutes to see one football play is torture.

Torture is also waiting in line to use the bathroom, at one point I lived in a house with four band mates and their families. (The bushes outside were God’s gift to me. Also a great plan B.)

Back to food.

In high school, I ate way too many Ramen noodles, thus spoiling my college experience. I didn’t want those oodles n’ noodles. Until one night... The crave hit me.

My dorm room did have a microwave, but I hated it, so I came up with a plan B.

Hang onto your hats.

I used my coffee pot. I have to say, it wasn’t as terrible as you might be thinking.

In fact, that became my meal for several nights, because though I hated Ramen, my way of doing it made me more keen to eat the junk. (My dorm mates got a kick out of it anyway.)

The worst plan B involves instant coffee. Gaggamaggot, I cannot stand that stuff. Offering that to anyone is a slap to the face, I would rather give up coffee forever than let that junk hit my taste buds.

If you’re a fan of anything I just listed no hard feelings, drink that instant coffee and nuke those noodles. I ain’t mad at you. Much Love. God Bless.