One Nation, Under God
One Nation, Under God
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I had a very interesting conversation with several Phillips County residents from several different Phillips County entities last Wednesday at the Great Northern Lodge Room. The topic of the day was “what if the power was out for a week, how would your organization manage and how would our community of Malta respond and potentially help each other?” The meeting was in conjunction with the Local Emergency Planning Committee and though the person who invited nor the person in charge of the meeting showed up for this get-together, once we fig...
It looks like we have lost our lone stoplight in Phillips County and to said light I say “you won’t be missed.” I am all for progress, and I know that work needed done, but man, what a pain in the neck that was. Speaking of a pain in the neck – in the name of progress – if many more streets are closed around Malta as the Water Project continues, I am going to need to enlist the help of a Hobbit, a wizard and a band of elves to find my way from the office to my house each night. I am not complaining (much) as I know this work is long overdue, bu...
It was hard to get out of bed and come to work on Thursday morning. It was a rough week in Phillips County and the thought of having to report on the tragic things that have taken place in our community recently left me lethargic and depressed. At big media outlets, the idea is to get the news – good or bad – out as fast as possible. I received several calls on Wednesday morning from reporters looking for information, photos and quotes. At first, I was hesitant to help these folks in their quest. It seems like more often than not, the only tim...
The race is on, the printer is whirling and the artistic strokes flurry. You guessed it, ladies and germs, the Phillips County Fair is only four weeks away and that means one thing in the old Hebert household…Sophia is a Whirling Dervish of creativity as she attempts to assemble as many entries for the exhibits as humanly possible (if you consider teenagers of the human species.) The last two years, Old Money Bags Soph has cleaned up at the fair in the categories of photography and art and has brought home dozens of first place ribbons and a fe...
It was early last Sunday morning, before anyone had arrived for the opening of the Malta Skatepark, that I dropped into one of the bowls. I shot across the concrete and up a wall, making a nice, long arching carve before pumping to the top and popping up, grabbing the front of my board with my left hand, kicking the bottom out with my right foot, for an epic backside 50/50. Something went sideways in my landing, however, and the board shot out from underneath me and into the irrigation canal. I landed with a thud, tweaking my right ankle,...
I’ve driven on some of the most congested streets, highways and freeways in the western portion of the United States so I have had my fair share of “road rage.” I 405 through Fountain Valley in Orange County, Calif., bottlenecks and keeps cars hardly moving for 210 minutes, on average, each day and a study conducted by Caltrans says that four mile stretch of interstate causes a delay for motorists of about 530,300 hours per year. Traffic so deep it would have me cursing Mickey Mouse. But you don’t have to go to a huge city to drum up a case of...
It’s funny the things I take for granted after living in Phillips County for a few years. I took a trip to Denver for a publishers meeting last month and though I had a good time, I don’t miss big city living. The theme from Green Acres dances through my head as I type this column. Eddie Albert’s “the choirs” and “fresh air” resonate a lot more than Eva Gabor’s “the store” and “Time Square” for me at this point in my life than they did in my 20’s (and if you are too young to remember this song, get onto Youtube and do something worthwhile.). B...
Hello boys and girls, ladies and gents, pets and relatives we own, but don’t enjoy. Gather around the campfire and let ol’ Uncle Mark tell you a story about preserving your memories. Remember back in the good old days of photography when cameras held film that was to be developed someday? Ah, can you hear the tray of slides circling around the projector, the hum of the machine and the pictures Great Aunt Helen took at that insurance seminar in 1969? Those were something, weren’t they? Even still, remember tak-ing that freshly popped Polar...
Happy 15th, my dear It was a wild week at the ol' community newspaper. From customer appreciation, to a few parades. From playoff high school football to old elevators being toppled in Saco. There was no shortage of news, that is for sure. Some weeks are busier than others at the PCN, but last week seems like it was the busiest (at least in my 89-weeks as captain of the ship.) While all the goings-on kept me busy all weekend long, one event -- the most important to me -- was somewhat short-changed and not as eventful as I would have liked. My...
Last Wednesday I had the pleasure of covering the Grandparents and Special Person Breakfast at Saco School. The food smelled wonderful, the cafeteria was at capacity and the smiling faces at each table was a wonderful way to start the week (being that Hump Day is my Monday.) It did my heart and mind good to see so many families enjoying each other’s time elbow to elbow with their neighbors. Growing up, I adored my grandfathers, Bud and Buck, but never knew my grandmothers. Grandma Hebert died four years before I was born and Grandma Caddell d...
Welp, folks, it is that time again. The temperatures are dropping, the leaves will soon start falling and, most important to me, football season is just around the corner. Though I hate to see summer go, the promise of pigskin makes the proposition palatable. The sound of the Mustang’s cleats clippity clopping down South Seventh on Friday nights starts the weekend off right. The Griz galloping onto the field while the band strikes into Up with Montana on Saturdays marks midway of my three-day football fancy. Sunday is for professionals and m...
If you aren’t a fan of boxing or MMA fighting, this might not be the column for you. If you are interested in a story about man vs. woman, stick around. Remember back in 1973 when aged tennis star Bobby Riggs challenged top ranked women’s tennis star Billie Jean King in what was deemed the “Battle of the Sexes?” That event was televised worldwide (and estimated 90 million viewers) and brought over 30,000 spectators to the Houston Astrodome to witness the exhibition. Now keep in mind that this was the heyday of the Woman’s Lib movement...
I take umbrage with Joseph Heller’s cartoon (just to the left of this column) even though I placed it there. Some weeks are better than others with our cartoonist and though I figured this cartoon would anger the least amount of people than any other he submitted, I thought Thursday night’s first (two) GOP Debates hosted by Fox News were both entertaining and informative. With any good debate, there are winners, losers and the also ran. Here is my take on the night’s events, for what it is worth. The “Winners” Fox News. The cable news show...
To eat one more hand-dipped corndog would risk possible combustion. Another cup of lemonade would surely make my teeth fall out. There is no way I could stomach another cheeseburger – as awe-some as they are – nor does my stomach have room for one more fried onion…well, maybe room for just one. The 100th Annual Phillips County Fair came to a close yesterday after-noon and in my estimation, it was a huge success. Now I don’t have receipts to back this claim. I don’t know if the four day event was profitable (and by profitable I mean it made t...
I think I live on one of the smallest lots of land in Phillips County. Looking at an overhead image of Malta, there are others about the same size as mine, but none smaller. When I first moved into my house near the elementary school, then new neighbor Trevor told me as much. He said that my family’s new tiny house was on just half of a lot while his was a full lot. I didn’t care – nor do I care – know, but I got to thinking about the size of my living arrangements last week when I went to mow my yard. You see, because I have no shed (yet) l...
ESPN hosted their annual awards ESPY Event on Wednesday night and if you have never seen the award show it is much the same as the Oscars, Emmys or Montana Better Newspaper Contest. People in a certain field – ESPN = sports – pat themselves on the backs, a bunch of advertising is sold and the producers of the show hope that something organic will happen during the telecast to create some buzz in the mainstream media so they can hike their ad rates next year. This year the producers at ESPN decided to forego letting “something organic” happen...
My fellow columnist, Parker Heinlein – four columns to the left of me – brings up some wonderful points this week. Take a few minutes, if you haven’t already, to read his column before proceeding through mine. Done? Thanks. Parker isn’t just whistling Dixie when he says that bicycle groups racing through a nearby town is a must-write for the rube journalist (and he had no intention of offending you by whistling Dixie.) Every summer, without fail, at least one group will peddle through town during a noble pursuit to raise money or awarene...
The month of July has always been one of my favorites…I’d say top 11 even (sorry January.) When I was but a whippersnapper, July was spent in Butte, America, celebrating both my country’s independence as well as my Grandpa Hebert’s birthday. Though my family and I lived throughout the country during my formative years, it seems as if more often than not we spent the Independence weekend in Butte eating pasties and porkchop sandwiches, watching Evel Knievel motor down the road during the parade and, at some point, Uncle Karl tossing an errant...
It was a wild week in the United States. Take your pick of controversial topics that, it seems, are on the verge of splitting this nation in two. Maybe that is a hyperbolic opening to this week’s column, but if my Facebook page is any indication of the statement, maybe not. I will not weigh in on what I think about the hot topics that went down last week as it would only serve to alienate half of you in the end. I will say that my “Facebook Friends” are made up of folks from dozens of different states, races, religions and political ideal...
The group Chicago, best known for their 1970's Jazz-Rock music, is one of my favorite bands. Their song, A Hard Habit to Break, however, is not one of my favorite tunes. My dislike of said tune is mostly due to it being mawkish -- and the lack of the band's epic Jazz vibrations in the ballad doesn't help -- but today as I type, I really don't like the song because it so aptly applies to my battle with tobacco. As you may or may notknow (it depends on how often you read my windy ramblings) I "quit" smoking cigarettes about three weeks ago. The...
On Sunday I lounged around in my complementary Disneyland Hotel robe staring at the television screen trying to cure myself of my vacation hangover. If you have ever been on a vacation in which you do lots of walking and are over-stimulated for the duration of the trip, you know how hard these hangovers are to cure. I spent most of the day watching Sons of Anarchy, quite possibly the dumbest television show ever filmed. It involves the mad capped cappers of a group of Motorcycle gang members too lewd to be lovable and too sappy to take...
I had been a smoker for at least 30 years. I say "had" because as of a week ago today, I smoked my last butt. May was "Just Quit Month" and I guess the slogan should get some credit in me quitting, but most of the credit goes to nicotine patches. I have two of them on right now, one over each eye, and I can't find my cigarettes which makes them impossible to smoke. Just kidding -- but would probably help. I am wearing one of these patches on my arm and have been doing so for the past seven days (and by the time you read this it will be over...
In the coming week, lets say Thursday or Friday-ish, if you happen to see a vehicle or two driving through our fair county with a 4 on the license plate, don't fear, hippies aren't invading. That car with that license plate is most likely my wife's parents -- my in-laws -- and they are making the almost seven hour trek to Malta later this week at the exact time as we depart for our trip to SoCal. They are coming to town to help us out while we are gone and will be taking care of Stella the Spoiled Chihuahua and Steve, the Hairy Jerk (formerly...
The anticipation builds as June 4 crawls closer. It has been, to date, 13 and a half months since I started as publisher of the Phillips County News and since that time I have had a grand total of zero days vacation and only twice have I had two back-to-back days off from work. Now don't get me wrong, I love this job and almost every aspect of it. But almost 400 days of anything without a break is more than any mortal can withstand and as much as I enjoy being skipper of this ship, it is high time I had a "three hour tour" and gotten away from...
This week, Phillips County lost a good guy as JB passed away after a battle with lung cancer. JB, thanks for being such a good friend to me in the short time we knew each other. A Haiku for JB From the Ramones to the Silver Pirates. Favorites shared and time well spent. RIP JB, you are missed. Crossword questions I know you are out there. At least one of the Phillips County News faithful readers completes the Phillips County News Crossword on a weekly basis, I just can't remember who. For those of you who don't do the crossword, or even look...