One Nation, Under God
One Nation, Under God
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I paused my Facebook account because I am tired of the hatred and fake news that is posted there. You can call me “triggered” but I argue I am less inclined to be such without this branch of social media …or any social media, for that matter (lest we forget that Facebook owns Instagram.) The amount of stupidity, conspiracy theories, and straight out lies on Facebook are the reason I have pulled that trigger. Couple those aspects along with the political ads (most of which are lies regardless of party) and the perfect storm of contentious quarr...
When the rubber hits the road is when winners are eventfully crowned and couple that with the adage of "use it or lose it" states, it's time to head to the Villa Theatre in Malta and buy some tickets because it could possibly be now, or never. Since Greg and Jan Kirkwood have taken a stronger interest in the storied movie-house (and eventually bought it) the work that has gone on over there to make the accommodations as pleasing as possible is kind of incredible. There were a lot of complaints about the Villa before this — and let us not f...
Last week I read in the Phillips County Sheriff’s report that “a male reported witnessing a female take out a stop sign in a residential area; Deputy responded to the call; case file started” and it left my jaw dropped. Our Malta Mayor, John Demarais mentioned that “someone will probably take them down like they used to” at the Malta City Council Meeting where it was decided to add stops signs all the way up 5th Avenue East after someone who travels that road posted his concerns with safety and a lack of signage on 5th Avenue on social me...
It was a wild week at the old Phillips County News as the computer of your “beloved” publisher decided to go belly up, deceased goldfish style, and if not for the help of “The GEEK” — AKA Malta School’s Computer guru and PCN IT specialist — Kelly McCann (see the old boy’s advertisement on page A4 this week) I am not sure how we would have put the paper together this week. Having the Microsoft “Blue Screen of Death” pop up on my monitors last Monday morning made my heart sink and my week much longer and stressful than usual. Without my computer...
I don’t intend to have sticky fingers…I really don’t. Yesterday, I visited the lovely ladies at the Phillips County Treasurer’s office to pay my taxes. We chatted for a few seconds and off I went (one of the beautiful things about living in a small community is the lack of standing in lines for such events.) Out of their office, down the elevator, and out into the parking lot I went. I dug into the front pocket of my jacket to fish out my car keys and there, already in my hand, a pen I had inadvertently stolen from their office. The Pen Thief h...
There’s an adage that proclaims, “those that can, do; those that can’t, teach.” I claim poppycock. With the start of fall just around the corner, a new season of school sports is upon us and with it, the complaining from parents not happy with how they feel their child is being treated on this team or that. To be honest, to that is human nature. To want to protect your child when you feel they aren’t being treated correctly is a natural instinct. But here’s the thing, it’s almost never done intentionally by a coach (or teacher) and if you do...
Talk about a lousy lunch. Although I generally eat my lunch of yogurt, trail mix, beef sticks and cheese together, it’s not every day that I combine it all into one concoction. Friday, dear readers, was that day. With Saco Fun Days, The Milk River Wagon Train and Labor Day all occurring last week, I took Wednesday and Thursday off knowing that Friday through Monday was to be momentous. Roundabout noon, out came the sack lunch and I quickly added a cup of peach yogurt to my trail mix, making sure to remove the cheese from the concoction before I...
“Back in my day, a handful of rocks and a stick where my only toys and as for an allowance, shoot, I was allowed to breathe and was damn happy about it.” – Generic Scolder of Todays’ Youth Every generation has them, people who swear up and down that the latest generation of children is softer than two-ply and is going to ruin us all. Anyone of you remembers when you came home with a leather jacket, motorcycle boots and a gallon of oil in your hair? You might have just come from the sock hop where Chuck Berry and Elvis Presley records had bee...
Aloha Gang, Minnesota Skinny here, and I wanted to give you all a quick rundown of how the surgery on my heart went: Spoiler alert: I made it! I call myself “Minnesota Skinny” as I have lost almost 20 pounds since I was weighed in at the Mayo Clinic here in Rochester, Minnesota. I am sure there are other methods of weight loss that are a lot less painful and I would not recommend my course of action to anyone (well, maybe a few people, but no one I would single out here in the paper.) I have been in recovery mode for nearly the past 168 hou...
It was somewhere around 8 p.m. that I really started to lose my stuff. If you take your tongue, stick it through your teeth, clamp down a bit and blow, you will recreate the sound that I have been making for the past five hours...."PFFFFFFFFFFFFFTPT!" "PFFFFFFFFFFFFFTPT!" "PFFFFFFFFFFFFFTPT!" It is the lone sound that hasn't been a profane utterance that I have voiced since at least 6 p.m. Aloha, Gang, Mark here. I am on hour number 15 of work on Monday, getting the PCN put to bed. It has been a long day, folks, and I am here to explain why...
Thank you to each of you who offered prayers, positives vibes, and advice following my column announcing I was to have open heart surgery. Knowing that a surgeon was to crack open my breastbone and fondle my heart was a scary thing to worry about for the past two months and each of your prayers, your words and wisdom helped alleviate those sometimes dark thoughts. That is the good news. Here the so-so news: My surgery has been postponed and moved to Rochester, Minnesota’s Mayo Clinic. I won’t get into why the procedure was moved (twice, wit...
Welp, your faithful newspaper publisher is headed to the disabled list. After over a year of walking around clutching my chest — à la L.A. junkman Fred Sanford spouting “this is the big one” — doctors in Billings, Mont., will finally crack my chest open and clean out a valve in my heart making me a member of the “Zipper Club” (that is, someone who has had open heart surgery.) The technical term for what ails me is hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, but I just tell people “my ticker is on the fritz.” For the past 18 or so months — but much worse the...
Dear Editor: I am hopeful the U.S. Bureau of Land Management will have a wide awakening with the forthcoming Secretary of the Interior Rep. Ryan Zinke. BLM will require new personnel who understand how to manage the public land resources but do they have any today at all? BLM effectively destroyed A.L. Hormay's restoration grazing allotments south of Malta that proved how range should be managed. Over the last 8 years BLM has drifted into an left environmental agenda supporting organizations like the American Prairie Foundation . BLM licensed t...
I felt like quite the dandy for the first couple days of 2017. My mother-in-law bought me a fancy, pewter pocket watch, with a slick little silver chain which attached the beaut to the left front pocket of my Levis. The watch came in a fancy blue box with the name A.E. Williams emblazed in a brilliant gold typeface inside the lid – along with the company crest depicting two lions atop the statement of “manufacturers of some of the finest Pewterware in the World.” Flipping the nifty little watch over in my hand assured me this was not some...
Good news at the Hebert household as Stella, the 7-year-old family Chihuahua, is back to 100-percent. She is eating regularly, has some pep in her step and is back to her Chihuahua temperament (i.e. I love you, leave me alone.) It was looking pretty grim last week, but we stopped listening to the vet – in fact did everything in reverse fashion from what the vet was saying – and within 48 hours, we had our old dog back. That’s the good news. The bad news comes in the form of those Oakland Raiders…yikes. Without their starting quarterback, my lon...
Oy veh! Sorry to start the new year with Yiddish, but day one of 2017 was a bit of a dung downpour. Firstly, it is never correct to say “Happy New Years.” All day long yesterday, social media was on fire with people wishing me a “Happy New Years.” How many years you celebrating this year, Jack? We were celebrating “New Year’s Day” on Sunday and after that, wish people a “Happy New Year.” The day before was “New Year’s Eve” but never, ever ever ever, is it “Happy New Years.” Sorry for that rant. I know I am no grammar expert, but January 1, 2017...
If the saying “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” is to be believed, then I’m about to soft-soap the heck out of Larry King. For many years, King wrote a weekly column entitled My Two Cents in which he rambled on incoherently and filled the USA Today’s opinion page with non sequiturs and ridiculous reflections. Here goes nothing. I wonder how long it will take for my puppy to be able to control his bladder and not pee on everyone he sees when he gets excited? Like master, like pooch, I suppose. Some feel that the Electoral College...
Once a week I get to jump into the way-back machine and look at the news worthy to print from 100, 75, 50, 25 and 10 years ago. I find it fascinating to see how printing techniques, pages dimensions and journalism has changed over the years and to see (unfortunately) how businesses, industry and population has dropped in this county over its 101 years history. Last week, while researching for the Memories feature for this week’s paper, I came across a series of wonderful stories written by Linda Link entitled Collector’s Corner in which she...
Well, the election is over (unless you are reading this on Tuesday night…if that is the case, use your imagination.) In previous columns, people who have said the “world will end” and point to a civil war depending on which candidate for president was crowned winner have been called to the carpet and asked to stop that idiotic notion. Well, if sports are any indication, maybe they were correct. Last Wednesday, the Chicago Cubs did away with the Curse of the Billy Goat and came back from a 3-1 deficit to win the Major League Baseball World...
If I haven’t “liked” your photo of breakfast pancakes or given you the “smiley emoji” for a silly cat video on Facebook in awhile, chances are I have unfollowed you on social media. Now, don’t worry. We are still Facebook “friends.” But if I haven’t commented on your post in the past few months, more than likely I got tired of your political rants, un-fact checked stats and out and out lies. And guess what? I am allowed to do so. There is a popular meme floating around social media of late that reads: “I will respect you regardless of who y...
The construction in Malta has been anything but delightful, no news there. The optimist in me, however, has found the silver lining in the Water Project and that is the betterment of my sense of direction and feel for the City of Malta. “A bend in the road is not the end of the road . . . unless you fail to make the turn,” Helen Keller once wrote. Well, old Helen never tried to understand the detour signs set up around Malta -- which she perhaps had a hand in setting up (just a thought.) Well, in the spirit of got lemons, make lemonade, I have...
Puppy Power at the PCN Long before Millennials and Hipsters made it fashionable to have dogs at the workplace, the Phillips County News has had a puppy presence. Before I got here – and for the week I shared the office with the two – Curtis and Bonnie Starr had Benny at the News office, greeting visitors with a one-eyed, tail-wagging grin. The little guy was as loving as could be and I still see him on Curtis’ Facebook page from time to time. Following Benny at the shop was Peanut, Vikki Truelove’s Pomeranian who was also as friendly as they...
An estimated 80 million people watched the first of three presidential debates between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton last week, or about 61-percent of the people who voted in the 2012 election for president (the Super Bowl, the gold standard of television viewing, netted just over 100 million people last year.) I think it is great that people are taking such an interest in the elections this year, but I wonder how many of those 80 million viewers watched the 100-minute debate to become more informed voters versus people who watched hoping...
Did you know there are 102 “National Day of . . .” things to celebrate during the month of August? According to the website nationaldaycalendar.com, in the month of August has three and a half things to celebrate per day (and sending the kid back to school isn’t even on the list.) That’s a lot of cake. A little investigating on the old inter-web quickly brought me to the conclusion that all one needs to do to get a “National Day of…” is make the declaration that, for example, Tuesday, January 5, is National Mark Hebert is Emperor of Tasmania D...
My first job in the newspaper business occurred in 1984 as a newspaper delivery boy, pitching rolled-up and rubber-banded copies of the Honolulu Star Bulletin at the doors of local stores from the seat of my 1983, chrome Huffy Pro Thunder 3 bicycle. Each afternoon I would pick-up 60-ish newspapers from the drop point, fold and band them and then tuck them neatly into my carrier bag with Star Bulletin proudly silkscreened across the front canvas. National Newspaper Carrier Day is on September 4, which falls on a Sunday this year. Anyone who had...
